THOUGHT: Shut your mouth up.

I barely will want to speak anything about my relationship and I don't think I have to share anything to every of you. However, I started to have a lot of negative thoughts for months and I can't be happy anymore.  

Maybe because during high school, I gave others bad impressions of me, like bully my bf, angry about him easily, or just do something bad towards him.

Indeed he is good but everyone has flaws, even me and all of you. But why everyone only looks at his good sides and the bad sides of me?

We have been together for 6 years and I really had enough judgement from outsiders who think I am a very bad girlfriend, a girlfriend who merely magnifies problems and cries a river for every shits or expresses it in my own way without thinking his feelings. 

Obviously I am here to clarify and stop judge me from being what kind of girlfriend I am because it's none of your business.

Never I can accept judgement from any of you who do not know me at all, nor our relationship, of course I don't expect you to know us.

Then, shut your fucking mouth up before you split out a word to define me or our relationship. Every relationship only belongs to 2 person and I do not need the 3,4,5 or more to know what's going on between us.

NOW, I am going to tell every of you who think you know about us. As I said I can't accept any judgement and I am here to clarify myself. Its not your turn to define me as what kind of person I am, because I am still a human, if I ever do something wrong, it's normal. (don't you ever tell me you didn't do something wrong).

The thing is I do have bad temper, I don't feel happy if thing goes wrong. I admit because it's my personality but if you think because I have bad temper and I just bully my bf everytime, I can tell you are wrong. I have reason when I angry over something, I will not angry for nothing, whereas Brian is the type of person who will only listens quietly. Perhaps that gives you a wrong illusion to think he is innocent and I am a bad devil. 

If he felt unhappy being with me, he had already left me years ago, instead he chose to stay with me no matter how, then whats wrong with you to think anything bad of our relationship?

My mom once told me, it will be better if one has bad temper to be the "bad person" and another one to keep quiet and be the "good person" in a family. Apparently I am the bad person (The character I am acting right now and everyone judges me) while he is the good person.

What's going on between us is not what you all think it is. Everything happens with reason and I think I do not need to explain it. But I am just hereby to tell you all that PLEASE STOP THINKING I AM A MANIAC GIRLFRIEND WHO ONLY SCOLD/ BLAME BOYFRIEND.

Nobody will ever like to argue, at least arguing let us know each other more and to prove we still care each other.

The main purpose for blogging this is because I can't accept how people only think the bad sides of me and start to judge me, please get it right.

I had enough of being judged by a bunch of people who think they know about us. I just don't fucking care (I wish I can). 

By the way! Thanks for reading.

Love, Winnie.